back and fourth back and fourth.
I decided to revive this blog becuase, despite having written alot of stuff i’m not particularly proud of on here, way back when, i personally feel there’s quite a bit of decent nonsense on here too, and sometimes i think it’s good to reflect on the people we where in the past, compared to the people we are at present. So here i am, a new post on an old blog.
Although i’m not a huge fan of living in the past, i’d like to say, or type, whatever, a few things before moving onto the point of this new post. For starters, i think its now safe to be able to reveal ‘Boy A’ as Stephen, who, if anyone is wondering, i did end being ‘like together together’ with, and did, in the end, turn out to be a bit of a prick. I know if anyone ever did read this, that being a close friend of mine, they might of assumed it was written about someone else (of course i’m referring to the unnecessarily long post where i literally became a complete girl & unleashed all my terrifying teenaged girl feelings onto one tiny corner of the inter web within the space of 4ish hours), but alas, it was not. it was about a boy named Stephen, & i suppose the only reason i’m not hiding behind any ridiculous ‘codenames’ anymore is because i’m tired of it. People aren;t honest enough these days, to themselves or others. They dont say what they want to and it does my head in. I’ll admit i’m abit of a hypocrite on that front too but only with big stuff, i dont pussy-foot around the stupid stuff though. Yknow, say if someone was being a massive twat, i’d tell them, i wouldnt go complain about them to somebody else.
anyway i’m digressing, Another thing i want to say is that i’m not ashamed of what i wrote about stephen, becuase at the time it as all very true. I can’t even say it wasn’t worth it either, and i dont see the point in saying that i regret it or wish i could take it back, becuase i dont, and even if i could i probably wouldnt, thing is, it lead to alot of things, which then lead onto aload of other stuff, and truth be told, alot of stuff made me who i am today. And even if i wish it could of happened in an easier way, i’m grateful for it. becuase im fucking awesome.
nah really though, it’s true. i’m a massive believer in everything happens for a reason, and alot of the hard stuff that happens to us is just to help us to learn and become stronger people, which they have, and i am. And maybe he’ll read this and feel like a massive douchebag, and maybe he just wont be arsed. Either way he knows it’s here.
‘Boy S’ on the other hand, or whatever i decided to call him in the end, well i’m not going to waste alot of time talking about him becuase truth be told we’re still good pals, and he’s just as sound as i said he was, and everything was great, but then he moved away. And i know im contradicting myself by still using his gay codename but i dont really think its necessary to know his name. He knows who he is anyway 
anyway anyway anyway, all this does have a point, becuase it sort of leads onto what i wanted this post to be about. yes thats right, a big moody post about relationships.
nah, i dont really know what category this would come under tbh, i suppose we’ll see at the end eh?
i’m gonna start it off by saying i like being in a relationship. i’ve never been a massive fan of going out to town and necking random people. i’ll do it, becuase lets face it, its the teenage way, but it doesnt mean i necessarily enjoy it. it just seems pointless to me, like, the only reason we do stuff like that is to prove to ourselves that we can pull if we wanted to, even if it is just some randomer. But to me that just seems massively insecure of us to do.
Fair enough, not including my last relationship (fairly short, but still good), my two before that weren;t really the best, but they DID have their moments, and i remember being happy a fair few times while in them, so i’m going to focus on that more so than the negative points. Anyway, i’ve always said that, if given the opportunity to go out to town all dolled up to get smash and neck loads of randomers, or sit in watching some god awful dvd (or a disney classic) with someone i liked, i’d probably almost always choose the latter. if latter means the last one that is (i can never remember). Of course i’d also choose a dvd night with the girls too if that was an option, but y’know, theres only so much oestrogen you can take in one room at a time. 
just kidding slags, you know i love you all very much.
but yeah, relationships good, necking people, not nessesarily bad, but theres only so much i can take.
another thing i find, especially with our generation, or age group, is that some of those who are in a relationship, can long for the freedom to go out and neck whoever they like. but once it happens, and you get the chance to, you lose interest and wish you were back in a relationship.
i definitely went through that phase a couple of years ago, painful as. but needless to say, it happens.
anyway i’m going to go asleep now becuase my lips are practically down by my chin.
it isnt as if there is a high demand for my posts, so i’ll continue this on the morrow.
april 13th, 2010, feckin’ scary that.
